Hogan's Heroes: Story Untold
by Basketballgirl Kaitlin
Summary: While having a camp out one night in Stalag 13, Hogan's men urge him into telling them their favorite story about one of his memories in the 504th bomber crew. The colonel then goes on to explain on how one of his men pulled a prank on him and what he did in revenge to get even. Incorrect dates in here from typo errors. 1942 instead of 1941.
1. Chapter 1

_Shout out to my awesome beta reader for helping me edit and make this story better than before! Thank you, Gaerwn! You are the total bomb! :)_

* * *

It was a nice night in July. It was not too humid out and not too brutally cold, either. No, the temperature was just right. In Stalag 13, most of the prisoners were asleep...except for five in particular. Colonel Robert E. Hogan was up with his men/friends: Sergeant James Kinchloe (Kinch), Sergeant Andrew Carter, Corporal Peter Newkirk, and Corporal Louis LeBeau. The five of them were all outside in the compound near barracks two sitting in chairs and surrounding a nice, warm, roaring campfire. Hogan had convinced Klink to let them have a one night campout as long as they did not bother him while sleeping in his quarters for the night. They had no assignments to worry about from London or the Underground, so the Senior POW Officer decided the five of them deserved to do something fun and relaxing for once. There was a tent set up in the middle alley between barracks two and a couple of other barracks nearby, where they would sleep for the night in sleeping bags and pillows Klink had provided. They had the same quality as their bunks in the barracks, but it was better than nothing at all.

Hogan was smiling at his men, as Carter and LeBeau were roasting marshmallows over the fire, Kinch watching, and Newkirk smoking a cigarette. They were at ease and relaxing, as they sat there under the clear night sky looking at the stars and listening to the crickets chirping nearby in the camp and outside in the woods. Newkirk looked over at Carter and smirked.

"Yah gonna burn the thing, if yah keep that up, Andrew," Newkirk teased.

"Oh, I like 'em that way. Black and burnt is the best." Carter said with a childish smile.

"Oui, mon ami." LeBeau said, agreeing.

Hogan chuckled and drank his cup of his coffee.

"Oh, I know what we should do!" LeBeau cried, thinking of a brilliant idea.

"Sing '99 Bottles'." Kinch said, cracking a smile.

"No," LeBeau answered.

"Play 'Ghost In the Graveyard'!" Newkirk cheered.

"What's that?" LeBeau asked.

"You've never heard of it, Louis? Oh, let old Newkirk here teach yah all about it." Newkirk said, with a smile.

LeBeau shook his head smiling. "I meant tell ghost stories." He said.

"Oh, do I gotta good one to tell you guys!" Kinch said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together.

"It won't be as good as my banshee haunted house story." Newkirk reassured, friendly.

"You've told me that story enough times, it doesn't even scare me, anymore." Kinch remarked.

"Oh really; you think yah got a story that can top mine!"

"Let's just say it involves a campsite, a ghost, and no flashlights in the middle of the forest."

"I still say mine will scare Louis, Andrew, and Colonel here more than yours."

"Bah; I bet it can't beat my night shift story when working in a bakery in Paris." LeBeau said, sure of himself.

"You used to work in a bakery, Louis?" Newkirk questioned. He did not know this of his friend.

"Oh, oui, Pierre!" The little Frenchman leaned over towards Newkirk. "I made some of the most magnificent pastries and desserts you would've ever tasted!"

"Looks like I'm going to Paris once the war's over." Newkirk commented, smiling.

"Hey, let me come with you. A little reunion for us." Kinch added.

"Good idea, mate!"

Carter smiled and turned to look at Hogan, who was sitting on his left.

"Colonel, could you tell your story about that time you got back at one of your buddies in the 504th bomber crew for the prank he pulled on you?" Carter asked, excited.

Hogan looked at him and smiled.

"Carter, that's not a ghost story." Hogan said in a friendly tone.

"I know, but it's really good!" The young sergeant answered, smiling.

Hogan smirked and shook his head. Sometimes he found Carter's ideas and responses annoying and unhelpful. Other times, which were more often than the annoying times, he found them funny and endearing. His explosion expert was a bit naive at points, but his heart was always where it should be.

"Oh, I love that story!" Kinch added in.

"Come on, Gov'nor; tell us." Newkirk prodded with a wink.

Hogan put up a hand, smiled, and shook his head softly chuckling to himself.

"No, you guys have heard that story a hundred times. Someone else can tell a story, tonight." Hogan said with a smile.

There was a chorus of 'aw man' and 'come on' that went around between the four men of Hogan. They all stopped after about thirty seconds, when Newkirk spoke up.

"Come on, Gov'nor; I love that one!" Newkirk said.

"It never gets old, sir." Kinch added.

"Please, Colonel; I'll shut up for the rest of the night. You won't have to worry a bit about me keeping everyone up all night with my talking!" Carter begged.

Hogan chuckled, again. He was both touched and amazed that these guys loved his story so much. He thought after four times of telling it, they would have grown old of it by now. Out of surprise, still whenever the five of them were not busy, someone a lot of the time asked him to share the funny memory with them.

"Alright, Carter; I'll tell it." Hogan answered, smiling friendly.

"Oooooo, grab some marshmallows, Kinch; this is gonna be a good one!" Newkirk said, clapping and rubbing his hands together.

Hogan smirked and began recalling his past as best as he could.

"It all started at our base in the middle of Germany. Everyone else was walking around preparing for our next airstrike, while I was talking with my best friend, Major Richard Schuerman, Rick, as everyone called him." Hogan began.

All four men were listening intently and aroused with glee and anticipation, as they listened to their commanding officer begin one heck of a memory.


	2. Chapter 2

(_Kassel, Northern Germany: April 1941_)

A USA Army Air Corps. unit, the 504th Bombing Squadron, was grounded in a base set up in the middle of an opening in a forest. 16 men were walking around socializing, singing the USA Army Air Corps. song, or sitting around in a small circle talking with one another over plans and how the war was going between them and Germany. Several logs surrounded a dormant place for campfires where some men were sitting and off in the distance was a few pitched tents. Two men were leaning against one of the planes and talking, however. Hogan in his usual attire of a crush cap, bomber jacket, brown pants and shoes, along with a white scarf and leather gloves was smiling and socializing with his best friend Major Richard 'Rick' Schuerman, his second in command. Rick was a slight bit taller than Hogan, but it was barely noticeable. He had dark blue eyes, slight facial hair, and short deep brown hair. He too was in his bomber jacket, brown pants and shoes. The only difference between the two was that Rick was not wearing his crush cap. He never wore it, actually. He was not fond of how he looked when wearing any kind of hat.

"Well, what do you think, Boss? Any new idea on how to take the Krauts by surprise?" Rick asked, crossing his arms.

Hogan smirked and turned to quickly look at Rick.

"You know as much as I do, Rick." Hogan answered, friendly. He then turned his attention back to his crew and took in a deep breath. They had been grounded for four days, and the colonel knew he needed to plan something soon. The Germans would eventually find them and God knows _what _they would do...especially the gestapo, which frankly Hogan was not so set on encountering.

"Come on, Rob; you gotta have _something _up there in that clever mind of your's." Rick prodded, with a wink.

Hogan continued smiling.

"Why don't _you _come up with a tactic, Major." He teased.

"Oh no; last idea I gave yah nearly killed us." Rick said, laughing slightly.

"It wasn't _that _bad."

"Rob, we almost got shot down over Berlin! What if we would've walked into Old Crazy Head himself?"

Hogan laughed.

"Probably a good idea then to let me handle the planning, then." Hogan chuckled.

"You got that right!" Rick said in response.

"What do you think your wife's up to, nowadays?"

"Carla,"

"No, Doraine." Hogan said sardonically, smiling.

"Oh, probably knitting, worrying about me killing myself, usual stuff."

"Well, you are kind of a klutz at some points."

"Rob!"

Both men started bursting out laughing. Hogan held his belly from laughing so hard. The two of them settled down after about a minute and sighed with relief.

"You and I make a pretty good comedy team." Rick said.

"Maybe we should go on the road after this war's over." Hogan answered.

"That's a great idea, you know that? Dude, we gotta start planning our comedy act!"

"Let's get through another war attack before planning our two man show."

Rick nodded and the two of them went back to discussing work, when Hogan's third in command, Captain James 'Jim' Clarkson, came up to the two top in command. He was shorter than both men and much younger. He could not have been more than his early twenties. He looked like Rick, except he did not have any facial hair. Hogan and Rick turned their heads and smiled at the young captain.

"Clarkson, how are you doing?" Hogan asked.

"Fine, Colonel; what about yourself?" Clarkson replied.

"Oh, I'm alright; a little tired, but what's new?"

"Got that right,"

"Where did your friend, Nelson, run off to?"

"Oh, he went for a water break. He'll be back in about five minutes."

Hogan smiled.

"Good; I need to have a meeting with everyone in about ten minutes regarding our next step in handling the Germans." Hogan answered, serious now.

"Boy, I'll be there, Colonel! You can guarantee that!" Clarkson cheered.

"Good; you're dismissed, Captain." Hogan said smiling and saluting.

Clarkson gave Hogan his finest salute and walked off to find Jack Nelson, another Captain, who was standing by a cooler with a water bottle in his hand a few meters off from where Hogan and Rick were. He was taking a drink, when Clarkson found him. The man had green eyes and light brown hair that was wavy. It was slicked back with hair gel and was quite the ladies' man. Clarkson found it a bit ridiculous, but he loved the man for it.

"What are yah up to, Joe?" Clarkson asked.

"Nothing much, Joe; what about you?" Nelson answered.

"Nothing more than the usual."

"I told you I was coming back."

"I know, but I need your help with something.

"Like what?"

Clarkson looked around making sure no one was around. He leaned in closer towards Nelson and softly talked to him.

"I wanna pull a prank over Old Colonel, here." Clarkson answered.

Nelson nearly choked on his water. He swallowed and answered his friend.

"Pull a prank on Colonel? You must be joking!" Nelson replied, just as soft.

"Not in a rude way; you know, just a funny 'haha' thing. I mean, he always plays jokes on us."

"It's different that way; he can do whatever he wants with us! You can't go and prank our commanding officer! Colonel Hogan will turn around and kill you faster than you can whip out your rifle."

"Colonel would never harm one of us."

"No, but he can certainly go off on you, if you try anything stupid or that might risk our lives."

"Just a little one! I swear to God it won't cause anyone any harm. I swear on my rank, dude!"

Nelson sighed and shook his head.

"Kid, one of these days you're gonna do something so stupid, that not even _Colonel _will be able to get you out of it." Nelson spoke, kind of laughing.

"Well, every squadron needs a little mischief maker; why not have that person be me?" The young captain asked.

Nelson smirked.

"I guess I can't argue with you on _that _one." Nelson answered, taking another drink of water.

"So, will you help me or not?" Clarkson asked.

Nelson sighed, but was smiling slightly.

"If I say 'yes', will you shut up?"

"Oh absolutely!"

Nelson sighed and shook his head, as he looked up to the heavens with a smirk on his face.

"Fine; I'll help you think of something." Nelson answered.

"Oh boy, this is gonna be a _good _one!" Clarkson cheered. He rubbed his hands together, as he thought about how much fun this was going to be.

"But if Colonel kills you, just know that I warned you." Nelson said, wagging his finger.

"Colonel wouldn't kill me; he may be tough, but he wouldn't kill a fly." Clarkson answered.

"He'll kill, if necessary."

"I don't think he'd go as far as killing someone in his unit."

"No, you're right with that."

Clarkson started pacing back and forth then snapped his fingers, coming up with an idea.

"I got it!" Clarkson said, smiling.

"What is it...and it _better _be good, if you're dragging me into this." Nelson warned.

Clarkson smirked before answering. He whispered into Nelson's ear making him gape his eyes and turned to Clarkson.

"Are you freaking mad?! Colonel would have a cow!...and a sheep, and a pig, and a duck, and the whole barn!" Nelson exclaimed, softly.

Clarkson chuckled.

"Relax, dude! He's not gonna have a whole barn." Clarkson answered, nonchalantly.

"No, but he certainly will have the cow!" Nelson retorted.

"This is gonna be sick, dude! Absolutely phenomenal!"

Rick came over to where the two captains with a smile, but a serious look on his face.

"Come on, guys; Colonel Hogan's about to give a meeting regarding our next steps against the Germans." Rick ordered.

"Yes, sir." Clarkson said.

"Right behind you, sir." Nelson added.

The three made their way to the gathering place, where Hogan would share the crew's next plan.


	3. Chapter 3

Sixteen men gathered around both Hogan and Rick, as they reconvened for a military tactic meeting. The others were talking with one another, until Hogan hushed them all to complete silence. He cleared his throat and began speaking.

"Gentlemen, as you are aware, we have gone on many air raids. If we continue to hide out like this, the Germans will eventually find us, and it's game over for _all _of us," Hogan began.

As all the men continued listening, Clarkson and Nelson were in the near back sitting on the grassy plains surrounded with trees. The two were discussing the prank involving their well respected commanding officer. Nelson was still set on convincing his friend he was out of his mind pulling something so wild as what he wanted to do to Hogan.

"Man, you're gonna kill yourself, if you go through this." Nelson whispered.

"I told you, no one's gonna die." Clarkson softly returned. He kept his eyes on Hogan and Rick, so they would not see the exchange between the two captains.

"Colonel Hogan will never let you see another sunrise, that's for dang sure. He could have you court martialed." Nelson hissed.

"Come on, man; you're as dull as road kill."

"Would you rather _become _road kill?"

Hogan looked towards the back and saw Clarkson and Nelson were discussing something in particular. He smirked and began his usual way of addressing things like this in his unit. "Are you ladies done back there?" Hogan asked, holding back a chuckle.

Clarkson and Nelson snapped their attention back to their commanding officer.

"We're listening, Colonel!" Clarkson replied, worried.

"Heard every word to the finest detail!" Nelson said.

"Really; what was it that I just said?" Hogan asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms.

Both captains grew quiet and began trying to remember what Hogan had just said. To be honest, it went over both heads of the captains. Neither one of them knew what Hogan had just told everyone.

"Uh...now don't tell me...it had something to do with bombs, didn't it." Clarkson said, trying to desperately think.

Hogan smirked.

"If you two weren't so busy talking about your girlfriends, you would've heard me, now wouldn't you?" The colonel chuckled.

The rest of the men snickered or groaned, smiling and turning to look back at both men.

"I said that we're packing up tomorrow and heading out. There's a munitions plant a few miles from here, and I intend to bomb it before the Germans have a chance to make any progress with it." Hogan answered, now serious.

"Oh, we'll be packed up and ready to go at the crack of dawn!" Clarkson returned, smiling.

"The crack of dawn...do you _want _me to murder you?" Nelson shot back. The fact of getting up early in the morning made him sick to his stomach.

"I'm afraid it'll have to be earlier than that. All of us need to be ready and in our planes by 0400." Hogan said.

All the men moaned, but knew they did not have an option.

"Yes, Colonel," Everyone answered in unison.

"Everyone will come report to either I or Major Schuerman for further details regarding the mission tomorrow later this evening. That's all; dismissed." Hogan said, giving a salute.

All the men gave both Hogan and Rick their salutes, then dispersed in their own directions.

Clarkson rose from his spot and was headed towards Hogan, when Nelson grabbed his arm and threw him back down.

"What are you doing?" Nelson asked.

"I'm starting this thing." Clarkson said.

"Colonel's gonna murder you; you'll be finished, if you go through this."

"I'm not gonna get murdered. Now, I'm doing this whether you like it or not."

Nelson sighed and shook his head.

"Just hurry up; I'm not gonna be late for another game of charades, again!"

Clarkson nodded and approached Hogan, while Nelson waited for him nearby, as he leaned against a tree and began smoking a cigar.

The colonel was speaking with Rick. They laughed about something, then Rick left to go watch the others play their game of charades. Hogan turned around and smiled at Clarkson.

"Captain, why aren't you with your friends?" Hogan asked.

"Oh, I'll join 'em in a minute. I just had to tell you how awesome it is these planes have autopilot on them!" Clarkson beamed.

Hogan smirked and looked out at a plane nearby.

"Yeah, I guess it is kinda nice to…" Hogan paused, realizing what his third in command said and turned back to face him. "They have what on them?"

"Autopilot, Colonel."

"Autopilot; I've never heard of it."

"Oh yeah! Big time! These newer plane models have it! I thought General Berkman would have told you about it."

"So would I...anyway, about this autopilot."

"Well, Colonel, it could be a huge advantage for us against the Germans...just don't tell them that."

"Why would I share information of any kind with the Germans?"

"You wouldn't; just we should be cautious, so they don't find out."

Hogan raised his eyebrow, now interested.

"An advancement you say, huh?" He commented.

"Absolutely; you're smart, Colonel, you know we gotta stay ahead of these Krauts, if we're gonna win this thing! Look, when flying over that munitions site tomorrow and are getting ready to bomb, just push the button and let the plane take care of itself. You just kick back and relax, while the plane does the rest!"

"Sounds like it makes my job a whole lot easier."

"Oh, it sure will, sir! Believe me!"

Hogan smirked.

"Alright, Clarkson; go join your friends. I have some thinking I need to do before tomorrow, anyway." The colonel said friendly.

"See you around, Colonel!" Clarkson said, saluting his commanding officer.

Clarkson ran off towards Nelson and the two of them made off to camp.

Hogan smiled and then began to think.

"Autopilot, huh...might be an advantage against the Germans _after_ all." He grinned. With that, Hogan walked off around camp to do some thinking about tomorrow.

* * *

Night passed over, and morning soon came. All the man had packed up and boarded their planes. They were up flying in the sky by 5:00 AM. It would be another two hours, before they made their way towards the munitions site, so Hogan was flying the plane with Rick besides him in the cockpit, as they listened to some music on the radio quietly.

"You ready for this, Rob?" Rick asked.

"Depends; are you ready?" Hogan asked, keeping his attention on flying.

"Well, considering this is your idea, then yes."

"I still think you could've made a good plan, Rick. You discourage yourself too much, sometimes."

"Remember Berlin, Rob?"

"Oh, one time deal."

"One time deal, alright; because if hadn't been for you there, it would've been the last of _all _of us!"

Hogan grinned.

"Really; Rick, if something happens to me, what are you gonna do, then? You can't just sit on the ground and cowar the whole time." Hogan said.

"I don't know _what _I would do, if that ever happened. I would end up getting everyone killed."

"Is this because of your issue being a klutz?"

"Aw man, Rob; why do you gotta pull that card on me everytime?"

Both Hogan and Rick chuckled and continued carrying out business.


	4. Chapter 4

Time passed, and it was now almost time to start the bomb raid. Rick had left Hogan by himself to get everyone ready for bombing. Hogan looked down at the radar and saw they were in close range. He looked down to flick the plane on autopilot, when he could not find it anywhere. He grew puzzled and began searching all the controls. Nothing. After searching for what he assumed to be everywhere, he had still come up with nothing.

Hogan began to start worrying a little bit and turned around to talk to the three other men on board besides him and Rick: Captain Clarkson, Captain Nelson, and Staff Sergeant Harold Goodman.

"Clarkson, where's the autopilot button?" Hogan called out to his men, who were preparing the bombs to drop on the munitions site.

"Oh, it's there, Colonel. Should be right under the heater control panel." Clarkson answered, helping Nelson and Goodman carefully lower a bomb onto the surface.

Hogan sighed and looked again. He began to grow irritated with not finding anything and turned back to face Clarkson, again.

"Clarkson, I can't find anything!" Hogan growled.

"It's there, Colonel, believe me when I say so." Clarkson replied.

Nelson looked up at Clarkson and sighed.

"If Colonel finds out about this, he'll absolutely murder you...I mean it." Nelson forewarned his best friend.

"Are you kidding me?! This is going great! I'm not stopping, now; not when I got him right where I want him." Clarkson replied in a whisper.

Nelson sighed and looked up to the heavens before turning his attention back on Clarkson.

"Alright, I'm not gonna say another word regarding this. But don't come crying to me, when the Colonel decides to take out revenge on you for what you've done." Nelson said.

"What's going on?" Goodman asked. The young staff sergeant was very confused as to what was going on around him and what exactly the two captains were talking about.

"Nothing, it's business related stuff only." Clarkson answered.

"You two own a business together?" Goodman asked.

"It's a small company thing, back in Oklahoma City; you should really come out there sometime." Goodman sighed and nodded.

Rick came back from going over a map in another room and ran into the cockpit, where Hogan was flying the plane and growing frustrated with not being able to find the autopilot.

"Over the site, Colonel, in thirty seconds." Rick reported.

"Thanks, Rick; go back there and help the guys with the bombs." Hogan said, frustrated. He was still scanning the controls for a button that had somehow taken to hiding from him.

"Got 'cha, sir." Rick said, then hurried back to help the other guys.

Hogan looked back to make sure Rick had gone where ordered, then immediately went back to trying to find the autopilot. After not finding it again, he groaned softly and looked up to the ceiling.

"Where is that damn button?" He mumbled to himself.

After seeing he was close to the site, he sighed, knowing it was too late to look again for the button. He had to manually handle the plane, as his men carried out their specific orders.

* * *

Later on throughout the day, the planes had landed after a successful air raid bombing the German munitions site. Hogan and Rick were off by themselves talking about something. In the meanwhile, Clarkson and Nelson were sitting around a warm campfire, having the wind being slightly cold, and discussing the events of today. Clarkson was laughing his head off about the whole thing, while Nelson had more of a different opinion on what had occurred on the air raid.

"Oh my God, did you see the look on Colonel's face the second time?! Haha, it was golden!" Clarkson laughed.

"If Colonel finds out, are you ever gonna wish you never committed such a prank." Nelson warned.

"Aw, I wish I could've had a camera! That would've been one for the books!"

"Not only are you gonna be court martialed, Colonel might just have you jump out of a plane with a parachute into freezing cold water and watch you, as you freeze trying to swim yourself all the way back to shore!"

"Come on, Nelson; why do you gotta be such a stick in the mud?"

"I'm not being a stick in the mud; I'm trying to save your sorry behind from getting the ultimate beating of a lifetime."

"Colonel will never find out what's going on. He'll be as much as in the dark as a bat in the middle of the forest in the night."

"That's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard...and Colonel Hogan isn't so stupid, as you think he is about these things."

"I never said he was stupid; I just simply said that he'll never find out."

Nelson sighed and shook his head looking down.

"Alright, Clarkson; go along with it, but just remember I warned yah."

* * *

Hogan and Rick were wandering around among the other men in the squadron, as they conversed with one another on the events of today.

"Another successful mission, Colonel, no thanks to you." Rick said, smiling.

Hogan gave a small smile and nodded.

"Thanks, Rick." Hogan said, softly. He was still upset with the fact that he never found that autopilot button. It was not something to be too upset about, but it was enough to make him begin to wonder where else he could have looked, somewhere he had missed, a section he excluded out in his search.

Rick, being so close to Hogan, could see the look in his eyes that something was not all completely right.

"You okay, Rob?" Rick asked, worried.

"I'm fine, Rick." Hogan said, quietly.

"You look like something's bothering you; what's going on? We did a great job, today, and your plan was foolproof as always!"

"It's not the mission I've got on my mind."

"Then what is it, Rob? Is it Maggie?"

Maggie was Hogan's girlfriend back home in the United States. She worked as a writer for a very small company where the two of them resided. When the war was over, Hogan was going home and proposing to her. He would have done it earlier, but then the war came along and called him off to service.

Hogan smiled, thinking of her. It made him get through some of the hardest times during this war. Everytime he felt a speck of despair and hopelessness, he thought of Maggie and knew what he had waiting back in the states for him, and it made him optimistic once again. Just remembering her soft, light brown hair, her kind, sparkling blue eyes, and smile that lit up any room brought joy to him.

"No, it's not Maggie; it's not finding the autopilot, today." Hogan answered.

Rick looked at him, as if Hogan had said something completely insane.

"The autopilot," Rick retorted.

Hogan nodded. "Yeah; apparently these newer plane models have autopilot on them. Makes the job a whole lot easier on commanding officers during an air raid or strike on the enemy. I couldn't find it for some reason, though. I'm just wondering where I could have looked more carefully, so I could've located it."

"Rob...there's no autopilot on these plane models." Rick answered, honestly.

"Why, sure it is; Clarkson said so. He said General Berkman even told him so himself." Hogan said back, shocked his best friend did not believe him.

Rick started to laugh.

Hogan then gave a cold stare at his best friend.

"What's going on, Rick?" Hogan ordered.

"Rob, I think you just got bamboozled by your own third in command." Rick chuckled.

"Bamboozled," Hogan exclaimed.

"You know, being on the other side of the prank, for once."

Hogan at first was furious with his third in command lying to him in such manner.

"That little…" Hogan began to simmer down and started to smile small. He started chuckling softly, as he put his arms behind his back and clasped them together.

"What's so funny, Rob?" Rick asked.

"Oh...if Clarkson thought this was funny, he'll have a lot more to laugh at, when I'm done with him." Hogan said, with a devious smile.

Rick could not help but laugh. He knew that look the minute it hit Hogan's face. His best friend was planning something, and he knew just how well Hogan could get revenge on someone.


	5. Chapter 5

(Stalag 13: Back to the present)

"What happened next, Colonel?" Carter asked, as if he had never heard the story before.

Hogan turned to his explosives expert and laughed.

"Carter, you know what happens, already." Hogan said, friendly.

"Oh, I know; I just get anxious and filled with anticipation every time you tell it." Carter remarked.

Hogan smirked and shook his head. He soon rose to his feet and started headed towards the barracks.

"Where you going, Colonel?" LeBeau asked.

"Hey, Gov'nor, yah gotta finish the story!" Newkirk exclaimed.

"I'll be back; I just need to get another pot of coffee." Hogan answered, looking back. He winked at his men and headed into the barracks to refill his cup of coffee.

The four men that remained started talking amongst themselves.

"I sure do love this story." Kinch said, smiling.

"Well, we can make more s'mores, while we're waiting." Newkirk added.

"Oh no; I've had enough for one night, Pierre." LeBeau said, holding up his hands in refusal.

"Sure wish Colonel would tell more stories about himself. A lot of them could be as good as this one." Carter said, roasting another marshmallow.

"You know how Colonel is about his personal life, mon ami." LeBeau said.

"I guess we could continue the story ourselves." Kinch suggested.

"Are you crazy?! Only Colonel can tell us the story!"

"Louis makes a point there, mate. It ain't the same, unless Colonel's telling it to us." Newkirk said.

"Can you imagine what he would do to one of us, if we pulled something like that Clarkson kid did?" Carter asked.

Everyone started laughing.

"Colonel would get us back good, that's for darn sure." Kinch laughed.

* * *

(April 1941: Bristol, England)

It was late at night, and Hogan and Rick were in their beigh tent going to bed for the night. The sound of chirping crickets could be heard from the outside and the slight breeze from the wind could be heard, too. Rick was up in his dark blue sleeping back reading a book, while Hogan laid flat on his back looking up at the roof of the tent. He was thinking of a good way to get back at the young captain who had pranked him earlier that week. His mind kept racing on what he could do. He wanted to make it good, enough to cause embarrassment, but not something so inhumane. No, his prank had to be thought up of carefully.

Rick glanced over from reading and looked at Hogan smiling.

"Whatcha thinkin about there, Rob?" Rick asked, smiling.

"You know very well what I'm thinking of, Rick." Hogan answered, returning the same smile.

"You got too much on your mind already as it is. How about letting this one slide?"

"Do you know me at all, Rick? I gotta get back my title around here. Any of the recruits here found out about such a thing, they would take me as a joke."

"That's harder to convince these men of that. You know very well when and how to bring down the hammer regarding the rules."

"Maybe, but I'm determined to get back at Clarkson...could be a little laugh for both of us, after all."

"Sure would be; his eyes would bug out as much as they would, if confronted with Old Crazy Man himself, here."

Hogan thought for a brief moment, before Rick said made a lightbulb go off in his head. He turned to face Rick and sat up in his sleeping bag.

"Rick, you just hit it on the head!" Hogan said, smiling.

"What did I hit?" Rick asked, slightly confused.

"I know exactly what I'm gonna do."

"Do I wanna know?"

"It's not that bad, Rick, but it's genius."

"What is it?"

"I'll tell you about it in the morning."

"Whatever floats your boat, Rob."

Hogan turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

"This is the Army Air Corps., not the Navy." Hogan said, slightly serious.

Rick moaned.

"Come on, Rob; you know what I meant!" Rick whimpered.

"I know; I just like messing with yah." Hogan said, with a wink.

Rick smirked and shook his head.

"You like to do that with a lot of people, Rob...a lot. Heck, I think you're devious and convincing enough to fool the Germans into letting you go, if you're ever captured."

"Oh, I would have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"A few."

"Okay, a lot, as you said earlier."

Both guys laughed and fell asleep.

* * *

Hogan told Rick his plans as soon as morning came. His second in command laughed like crazy and instantly agreed to help him with it. That was one of the reasons he and Hogan were such good friends; he had the same love for pranks and messing with people as Hogan did himself. The two of them were leaning against a plane talking to one another. Rick was smoking a cigarette, and Hogan was watching the other men of his crew walked around his arms wrapped around himself.

"Rob, I think this is the best prank you've come up in life, yet." Rick chuckled, taking another drag on his cigarette.

Hogan chuckled himself before answering. "I don't think so; sometimes my pranks don't always work."

"Oh, stop being so humble, Rob! You're the king of pranks! If it was a sport in the olympics, you would come home with about seven gold medals."

"You think so?"

"I don't think, when it comes to that, Rob. It's common knowledge when considering that topic of discussion."

Hogan smirked. "Maybe so, Rick...maybe so." The colonel spotted his third in command talking with Nelson regarding something. Not being able to help himself, Hogan started laughing.

"What's so funny, Rob?" Rick asked.

"I can't wait to see the look on his face." Hogan chuckled.

"It'll be priceless, that's for darn sure."

Both men could not help themselves but start laughing, as they thought of what they would witness tomorrow morning.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day came along just as fast, and Rick and Hogan were fast asleep in their tent. They had been up late last night pulling the prank of Clarkson, then staying up until around 2:30 AM sitting by the campfire and talking to one another. Rick talked about Carla, and Hogan talked about Maggie. Then both men started talking about their college days and laughed, as they shared memories with one another.

The two commanding officers heard a sudden shriek that made Rick shoot up and immediately grab his gun. He snapped his head to Hogan and began shaking him hard, but being gentle, as well.

"Rob...Rob...come on, man, wake up!" Rick begged.

Hogan fluttered his eyes open and saw the panic in his best friend's eyes. He sat up and woke up instantly.

"Rick, what's wrong?" Hogan asked, worried.

"I heard a scream." Rick softly spoke.

"From where,"

"It sounded close by, sir."

Hogan put on his blue bathrobe and slippers. He then leaned over, grabbed his gun, and followed Rick out of their tent.

"Where did you hear it come from, Rick?" Hogan asked.

"Over there." Rick said, motioning with his gun.

"Alright, let's go. Be as quiet as possible."

Rick nodded and the two officers in command continued walking. They eventually made it over to where the rest of the men slept with their tents and bunkmates. A group of guys were laughing hysterically; some of them in tears from laughing so hard.

"What's going on here?" Hogan ordered, stern.

"Colonel, you gotta see what someone did to Clarkson!" One of the privates laughed. He could not control himself from doubling over and laughing.

Hogan and Rick turned to one another and smiled. They instantly knew what the scream was and who it had come from. Clarkson ran out from his tent in his uniform, like everyone was in besides the two commanding officers in charge. On his face, someone had drawn a Hitler mustache on his face, while he had been sleeping during the night.

"Colonel...do you see what someone did to me?!" Clarkson cried.

Hogan had a hard time holding back from laughter. The reaction was something he would not trade for anything.

"Looks like you grew quite a mustache during the night." Hogan said, barely able to hold back from chuckling.

"Colonel, do something; interrogate the men! Shouldn't someone be punished?" Clarkson cried.

It was then Hogan could not hold back anymore, and he broke out into laughing along with Rick.

"Hey! Stop laughing and help me out here, Colonel!" Clarkson said, begging for mercy.

After settling down, Hogan smiled at the young captain.

"Captain, I think you've just been bamboozled." Hogan simply answered.

Clarkson was growing concerned and curious. His commanding officers were laughing at him and adding to the suspense. Instead of helping him, they continued to just stand there and smile.

"Colonel," Clarkson asked.

"I did it, Clarkson." Hogan answered, friendly.

Clarkson's eyes bulged, as he stood there shocked at what he heard.

"Colonel..._you _did this...but...but...but," Clarkson was cut off by Hogan.

"I figured out about your little scheme against me. The word 'autopilot' sound familiar to you?"

Clarkson took in a shaky breath. He did not know whether to be furious or terrified that Hogan was about to lose his temper with him.

"I told yah, he'd kill you the minute he found out about it, Jim." Nelson cried, from afar.

Clarkson gulped down a knot in his throat and shook his head, afraid of what was in store for him.

"Colonel, I...sir, I...I didn't mean to...what I'm trying to say is," Hogan cut Clarkson off again, by holding up his hand.

"I'm not mad, Clarkson. You can relax." Hogan said, smiling.

Clarkson sighed with relief. A 200 pound weight had just been lifted off of his shoulders.

"Thank you, Colonel." Clarkson said.

"Just one more thing."

"Oh anything, Colonel."

"If you ever pull something like this again, I won't be as friendly as this time." Hogan said, serious this time with a threatening look in his brown eyes.

Clarkson nodded, understanding completely.

"Yes, sir; I'll never do it, again, honest!" Clarkson pleaded.

Hogan smirked and shook his head.

"Alright guys, knock it off. I think our friend here's had enough for one day." Hogan said.

All the men nodded and went off to carry out their normal routines.

"Colonel...can I just ask you something quick?" Clarkson asked, softly.

"Sure; what's up?" Hogan asked, friendly.

"Can you get this thing off me, now?"

"I'm afraid not; the only thing I had on me was a permanent marker. You'll be stuck with that thing for at least a few days before it starts to fade away."

Clarkson sighed and nodded. He knew he had it coming, so he was not so upset with his commanding officer.

"I guess it won't kill me, sir." Clarkson said, giving a small smile.

Hogan smiled, dismissing Clarkson, then he and Rick walked off to change into their uniforms for the day.

* * *

(_Stalag 13: Present time_)

"That story never gets old, Colonel." Kinch said, smiling.

Hogan nodded, smiling as well. He tilted his head slightly and sighed, suddenly growing a small frown.

"What's wrong, Colonel?" Carter asked.

"I just miss them, is all. I sure hope Rick and the rest of them are alright." Hogan said, sadly.

Kinch smiled.

"Don't worry, Colonel; you'll see Rick again as soon as the war's over." Kinch said, kindly.

Hogan gave a small smile then yawned. He looked at his watch to check the time and nodded.

"I think we should all start heading to bed. Klink'll be furious, if we don't attend roll call in the morning." Hogan said.

"Aw, Colonel; can't I at least tell my ghost story first?" Newkirk asked, sad.

Hogan smirked.

"You can tell me tomorrow, before I go to bed, Newkirk." Hogan said.

"You sure, Gov'nor; yah might not get any sleep after I tell it."

Hogan chuckled and shook his head.

"Come to think of it, I'm tired myself." LeBeau commented.

The five of them put the fire out with a bucket of water and started heading for their large tent, where they would sleep for the night.

"Can we still sing '99 bottles'?" Carter asked, walking into the tent.

"Andrew, yah want me to wake up crabby in the morning?" Newkirk asked, slightly irritated.

Carter grew silent and entered the tent followed by Kinch and LeBeau. Newkirk and Hogan were the last two. Newkirk was about to go in, when he saw Hogan staring up at the sky.

"Yah coming, Colonel?" Newkirk asked.

Hogan turned to Newkirk and smiled at him.

"I'll be in in a minute, Newkirk." The colonel answered.

"Alright, sir; we'll wait to go to sleep, until you're in here."

Newkirk got in the tent leaving the American all to himself. He looked up at the stars and saw how they glittered in the night sky. Smiling, he nodded and walked into the tent to go to sleep for the night.


End file.
